missing

I've been MIA lately, I know I know...
I just feel so busy and whirlwindy...
and, I'm soaking up the fall you know.
Every last crunchy leaf goodness.

Peace out cubscouts....

These are precious times...

I may have already posted this picture on the blog. BUT, I felt compelled to post and this picture was one of my faves on my phone. I look at this picture and simply cannot believe that my husband and I, made him.Everything good and true and pure in both of us is...him. I have to admit...I was prepared for how much I would love my children. For some reason, I never really thought about them loving me back. Trusting me, wanting me, feeling safe with me. I never thought that simply by picking them up, their booboos would disappear. And, I think that is what makes people itch for and long for more children. I pray (even though I don't pray THAT much...) that my children will always love me. There's NOTHING either of them could ever do to make me love them less. They are just as miraculous as rainbows and clouds to me. As astonishing as morning dew on plants. As refreshing as tulips in the spring. They are perfect. And, I struggled for them,  I still struggle for them. And, I don't know how they are mine. I will never understand why God blesses some and takes from others. I am so very happy that this hole in my dream has been filled. Fulfilled. Overflowing. I thank MY god for them. And, the wonderful supportive and loving husband that always has my back. My life began the day that I met him. It's all been such a blur, how each and every memorable moment has turned into my life, my family.

I am forever happy and in awe.

Fun in the park...

So, there's this park we love in Morrisville. The playground is BANGING. BANGING ya hear me? The ground is spongy. The equipment is safe and clean. There are CLEAN bathrooms in safe walking/yelling distance and...our Parker LOVES it! He is getting so brave at climbing things all by himself..but I guess that's just the 100%boy in him. This time, he even went down a few slides on his tummy. Playing outside makes all of us happy. The weather here in NC has been perfect for all the playing outside and walking we can stand and then some. On this particular day, we had a picnic and it was fabulous. One of my favorite pictures of Jay and Parker is the first one I posted of them looking at each other through the holes on the little bridge. I think this shows how good of a dad my hubs is. And, how much Parker loves always

looking for Jay to be there.

There are some moments,

some points in time, when

you just fall in love with

someone all over again.

And, you don't really see it

coming until you look at things

in retrospect. This picture,

the first one...of the two of them.

It did it for me.

Moving on, the picture at the bottom of Sethie scratching his nose...just like his daddy. Those little allergies..I hate

to say it but they're adorable.What's even more adorable are the faces that Sethie makes. He doesn't understand his allergies.Like I don't understandthe formatting right now of this blog.
It has a mind of it's own I tell ya.Good thing there weren't any incognito pictures snapped of me going tummy first down the slide.I'd be a sensation and this mess would go viral.

Love ya, mean it!
Kimmie

Happy Autumn!

So, the goal this year was to take the kids to the pumpkin patch and all that mother of the year type stuff.

Well, we didn't get around to it okay? AND the mums and pumpkins looked soOooOOOoo good at Wal-mart that we couldn't turn them down at 2 for 8 dollars! We also bought some pumpkin spice coffee and APPLE CIDER @ the fresh market...AKA my FAVORITE store ever. I mean, even though we don't have a LOT of extra money right now...it is good to buy expensive coffee ..that's splurging to me. It really is.

Not a lot has changed..except for the weeks just seem to get more and more wild. Parker is still getting up in the wee wee wee hours of the morning and sneaking sometime into our room. Don't worry, he must make a few trips because he brings his Thomas the Train pillow, his blanket, his tiggie and usually a train or car of some sort. I've thought about locking our bedroom door. And, we've discussed it. BUT we wouldn't be able to hear if something were to happen. It doesn't REALLY bother me until he wakes up Seth or starts doing cartwheels over my almost lifeless body in the morning circa 5:30am. Any advice or recommendations in this area would be much appreciated. Oh yeah..AND the state fair starts in another week. I mean, what are we going to do with ourselves? I simply cannot tell you how different this fall is for me. Maybe the stores have just hyped it up. But, I just cannot contain myself. The colors, the crunch of the leaves, the fragrances, the mulling spices and apple cider, pumpkins, scarecrows, and flavored coffees and creamers? Oh dear...if anyone knows where it's like this all year, please tell me so I can move ASAP-a-rappa.

Crunch from my house to yours!!

~Kimmie

A new post...

Let's see...it's been raining for 3 entirely whole (:0) days now. And nights, let's not forget the nights. Oh the nights. And, I think it's been raining on the entire east coast of the USA now for those same three days and nights because everyone on my fb page keeps commenting on the rain. Some, (like me) LOVE the rain, and some LOATHE the rain. I've had a chance to catch up on some sleep because thank goodness, rain has the same effect on the kids, making them whiny and sleepy. I've had an excuse NOT to get out and hustle and bustle. At present, I am sitting at the table in our kitchen drinking (GASP) a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks. Bless it's heart, I've had the grande going on an hour now. I'm trying to enjoy every last speck of it! We recently took the blinds down off the bay window in the kitchen. Just too dark for me. If I had things entirely my way, I'd tear down every blind one by one and chunk them in the attic for good. I just love being able to see outside so often--and notice daily the seasons changing. And, in our case...the rain!! :0)
I've been pretty poopie about blogging lately. I don't know why. I think it's because i don't feel like I've really had the time to sit down and reflect. And, when I do, I feel overwhelmed to blog about the kids. Well, because they make up such a large part of my daily life. But, really there's a lot of things that I'd like to blog about besides them sometimes. I mean, really it always seems to circle back to them but you know...I can try to have some adult chatter with myself :)  Like, how excited I am to watch Grey's Anatomy tonight? I mean, I love love love that show. It's exciting and I feel like I learn something everytime I watch it. I also tear up everytime I watch it! It won't be long before it will be windy and cold around here...gusty and everyone you know, including me will be knitting scarves for Christmas gifts and sipping on hot cocoa with REAL marshmellows. Oh, it's coming friends. Hang in there. And, enjoy the rest. And, if it isn't raining where you are today, it is in NC. Just pretend. Think of all the pretty umbrellas there are to be had!

Maybe

So, maybe I like singing. Maybe I like it more than anything else. Maybe I feel like music moves me and changes me and goes through me. Maybe I'm shy, scared, afraid. Maybe I don't have the money or the looks for pursuing music. Maybe my voice is the only instrument I know how to use. Maybe I'm stuck being a nurse.
Maybe I'm crazy.

blankety blank blank

SO, I think that there are so many things to blog about that I'm a little bit in overload at present. I can tell you that I've been horrible about updating the blog. Furthermore, we had a successful co-birthday party for the boys at Umstead Park on Thursday night. AND, Parker Jay is STILL climbing into our bed at 4am. UGh. My friend had her sweet baby boy ...who is absolutely ADORABLE ...I'm still on the search for a job haha, I'm in a constant search aren't I?! HAHA. NOT FUNNY. Parker got bit at school on the playground this past week. The kids will be each getting a pillowpet for Christmas...machine washable and ALL. AND, what else?
I dunno. Check back at a later date for birthday pics, more elaborate ranting, and weight loss success. Today I got nothing.
Baby love,
Kimmie

Fun

weight loss and baby bottles

Okay okay, first it was Suri Cruise. Sweet Suri. Carrying around a bottle at merely 3 years old. I'm not talking sippy cups here people, I'm talking full on NIPPLE. Now, Mark E Mark's kid? NOT OKAY. I mean, do these people look around? Do they talk to PEDIATRICIANS? How about a pediatric DENTIST for goodness sake?! I mean, if they need a personal nurse around to tell them important things about transitioning and taking away a bottle, I'd be glad to sign-up....and things like when to try to take away a pacifier? Then there's good ole Angelina and they're little GIRL Shiloh. I mean, what's worse? That the little girl WANTS to dress like a boy? Or, that Angelina doesn't want her little girl dressing like a girl? I mean, REALLY? Who buys the clothes here? Let's see...no little boys clothes here for ya, you can wear either your purple flower shirt, yellow shirt or pink shirt today, which will it be? Oh, and if you aren't up for those, how about that sundress that mommy's friend bought for you from Paris? I mean...REALLY people. Really. I can understand fashion and wardrobe being an issue at maybe 16...but NO WAY....I'm just flipping out a little.

AND...Drew Carey looks 30 years older after all the weight loss. I think I'll just stay fat. HAHA.

A pic from People magazine showing the weight loss I discussed in a previous post. A pic also from people magazine showing what appears to be about a 3 year old child of Mark Wahlberg with a straight up bottle....  We'll get into this later

Blog out of necessity...

So, let's see. I'm bored at work and don't really have anything to blog about but the weather. AND how ready I am for the FALL. Oh acorns, sweet acorns under my feet...where ARE you? And, indian corn? What about pumpkins>? Ugly ones, pretty ones, drop on your toe ones? Scarves? Mittens? Oh...I think I desperately need to go to Michael's this week and peek at all the fun fall things. Flowers, stickers, flags. Oh I'm ready for the crispness!

I'm all finished with the first nightstand yayy! Now-- I'm thinking of doing the other one a different color--maybe mustard yellow? I guess whatever color is $1 @ Lowes. I'm really happy with how this turned out and am excited to do more projects like this one :) the hubs is paying golf but I can't wait to see what he thinks!

MY nightstand BEFORE :)

And here it is back in it's home. Mine is on the right side-- can't wait to have them both finished :)

This is what I've been working on tonight :) I've got just a bit more to paint tomorrow And then it will be time to do the drawers and start sanding the next one. I wish you understood how much fun I had tonight doing this on the back porch while listening to the radio and rocking out... More pics to come and of course, the final product :) muah!

Beeb

Sleep well been

decisions decisions...

Well, let's see. ... I'm very happy to have a job. How about that? I'm very happy to work for the hospital I work for. I love the hospital and the RNs and MDs that are here. I love the teamwork and the personalities of the people that work here, the culture. I must say, I am kindof stagnant in my career and looking to do something more...CONCRETE. Having my 2nd baby really threw me for a loop in a lot of ways, mentally, DEFINITELY physically and somehow has put my career on hold. I am totally and happily okay with that. However, I want to find my niche you know? I've been saying this over and over again to many friends, my poor tireless husband, and myself since well.....right after Sethie was born. I mean...I just want to pick! Emergency ? Pediatrics? Women's care? Surgery? Cardiac. I feel like I've been all of the above and now that I have 5 years of experience as an RN, I should be able to choose. So...I'm putting myself out there, I'm sending emails. I am going to sacrifice..and choose. I'm going to choose. And, once I jump head first into whatever it is I choose, I'm not going to look back. I'm going to focus on it. If it's cardiac, I'm going to know all those rhythms and be able to spit them out at you and count them. I'm going to be able to graph them and tell you exactly what to do. If it's specifically OR, I'm going to learn all of my tools, extractors, clamps, forceps and I'm going to be able to draw them for you. If it's pediatrics, I'm going to keep doing the same thing, if it's Emergency, I will obtain trauma certification and dream of chest compressions and rapid sequence intubations. I will know my drips frontwards and backwards. But, this. This. THIS. It's not conducive to my success on the inside of me. It's not filling me up. Because it's a smorgasboard. My mother always said to do one thing and do it well. I want to be knowledgeable ablout a lot of things but a PRO at one. I feel like I am taking it on and swimming in a sea of this and that. I have a hunger for knowledge. BUT I want to be able to concentrate on MY area of expertise. PEDS, Emergency medicine, Flight nurse, OR nurse, trauma nurse,etc etc...
It is the little prayer in my little fat heart that my strong will and determination will perservere over the obstacles that stand in my way. I am a damn good nurse, a damn good person. And, I'm smart. I can think on my toes, I can chart like a son of a gun. I can draw labs and calm a crazy person down. I know how to persuade kids to take their medicine and how to hold them down and give it to them when that doesn't work. I know how much Toradol and Ativan and Morphine are too much. I know when to page a physician and when to let the stool softener wait until the morning. I'm no brain surgeon. BUT if someone taught me, I very well could be. And, I'm tired of just passing through...just going on with the flow. I'm ready to really make something of my career and be respected for that. Artists and poets, architects and professors all must work at their craft for awhile before they are good. I've worked at my craft and I'm ready to show people wassup. I'm ready for the learning and growing to continue.
Sorry...my ranting and raving is ending now.
I hope and pray that you guys are happy and fulfilled in your job. It's your home away from home. It's the reason you leave your family and loved ones everyday. And, if you don't LOVE it...you've gotta find it. Because, you're a disservice to the human race and progression and the ONENESS if you're not.
Up until now, I've been just a tumbleweed. I'm ready to lay down my roots and grow.
Most sincerely yours,
Kimmie

Blue eyes!

Look like daddy

Lips like mama

Hilarious little one!

So friggn fun 

Lots of earrings, hairdoodads, and kitchen towels :) 

Crafts crafts and more crafts

I love my family.
I love how my husband just seems to hold me together.

He gives the best back rubs, knows when I need sleep, food, a hug.
And, I feel like when I snuggle up to him I just melt.


Ahhh, life is good.

yay iphone

So it looks like I figured out how to upload more than one picture at a time. Now, if I could just figure out how to post and have pictures all together from my iphone, we'd be doing pretty darn good. One of my favorite and funniest people in the whole entire world is @ home on bedrest with her second little boy (wink wink if you're reading this) and I'm just thinking back to some old days that we spent together in college, gossiping about how fat such and such was, and how stupid such and such was. And, now we're moms. Of 2 boys each. And, I think about how wonderful life would be if we lived around the corner or across the street and we could snicker about what our boys did today that a) we loved b) we hated c) was just like their daddy c)made us laugh but we knew we couldn't in front of them. I think about how nice it would be to be able to meet up with all the kids and go for a walk or to lunch. Because, there's just something about those old friends. The ones who knew you before you got all settled into the daily rhythms and ordeals. There's something about them that just make you feel at home. So, I'm sending her ...a happy bedrest. And, I'm sending encouraging words...because being a mom is sacrifice after sacrifice. And, hug after hug. And, I'm sure that she's great at all of it. (Despite her eye-rolling) And, I'm just throwing this out there...as if moving, having a baby and a toddler at home wasn't enough...could you start a blog too so that we can have a daily dose of you and your sillyness. The sillyness that you don't think you are?

A beachy kind of moment..

My brain is just always running. Do you know that feeling? Always reeling, thoughts, things to do, dreams of tomorrow, happiness from today. Things we need from the store, things that need to be mailed, the family swaggerwagon needs an inspection and registration renewal, what are we going to plan for the boys' birthdays? You know. It's a wild conversation up there in that ole brainy brain of mine. And, then I remember a calmness. A quietness. A "peace be still" moment or moments. Boca Raton Florida--middle of July. Oceanside. Pay no attention to my grammar and fragments in this post. Anyways anyways...back to the oceanside. Breeze, salty-air. And, quietness. No rambling in my brain. No do this, do that. No don't forget about this or that. No checking the mail. No dishes or laundry. Just me and my silence and my soulmate and the moments. And, I realize it's mind over matter. I realize that I can sit here right now. With a phone ringing, a icemaker humming, and a tele monitor alarming (pt is fine, no worries :) and I can close my eyes for one second, take a deep breath and be right there. RIGHT THERE. But, as hard as I try, it just isn't the same. It's just a tease and I blink and it's back to reality. There is something, some place, some spirit, some electricity that moves within me at the beach as I listen to the waves and feel the sand that moves me. It absolutely changes me. The water comes over my ankles with each wave. When it gets sucked back in by the tide, it washes away the dirt in my soul. The stench of everyday life and makes me whole again. The ocean, it is my Jesus. (Don't hate me because I said that.) It is my rebirth, my born again, my awakening. And, I thank my soul and the universe and my god for making that power and feeling and presence on this earth for me. And, I thank my spirit and body and mind for being able to feel the power that is sleeping in the ocean, waiting for me to return.

It is my hope that somehow...everyone can find their ocean. Their silence. Own it. Feel it. Let it change you.
I promise it's there. And, I think every single day. Every day I try to get there again. And, if I could have it my way, I'd be a beach bum...happy with my house decorated with seashells and flip flops by the front door.

Love and sand from my soul to yours!
~Kimmie