It's beginning to look a lot like we're having TWINS!

Today we are 29 weeks pregnant and some change with our sweet boy/girl twins Katie May and Isaac. We had a growth scan today which is just a specific ultrasound that looks at things like fluid levels around the babies, their hearts, their bellies, their heads, etc. We were told by the physician that reviewed our ultrasound that if the babies were born at this point that they would probably be perfectly fine. This was a HUGE relief. It's pretty amazing really. OF COURSE, we want the babies to be born when they are supposed to be. But, the worry of preterm labor isn't so concerning at this point. We got some good ultrasound pictures, a few 3D/4D not sure...anyways. It is just amazing to see these little people growing inside of me. When I stop to think about 2 little beings...2 little souls in there with personality traits, physical characteristics of hubs and I and...so much love...I get a little overwhelmed about it all. I cannot begin to imagine really how much these too little souls are going to change our lives. Seriously, you would think I COULD imagine. I've already got 2 boys at home. You would think I would at least be able to IMAGINE. But, I cannot. I can imagine how sleepy I am going to be and how sleepy Jay is going to be. I can imagine how frustrating it's going to be everytime the boistrous boys wake up the twins because they are being typical boys. I can even imagine the expense of twins..diapers, etc. But, I cannot imagine the love. I just cannot. I can't imagine it being more than I already have for them now.
  As I look at myself in the mirror- at work, at home, in the windows outside...I can only see an external BLOB. It's hard for me to really understand that they are in there cozy, lovey, and growing. It's hard for me to remember all the time that this demolition of my external body is only leading the way to something more miraculous and ever-changing on the inside -of my soul, and of their little bodies. It's difficult to remember what it felt like being in shape again and able to run up the stairs without getting out of breath or even shaving my legs in the shower for goodness sake! But, just a few months ago when we were trying to get pregnant again, I would have given it all for that positive pregnancy test.
  How special and blessed I am as the mother of 4 children. 4 souls. 4 loves. How miraculous it is that the secret yearning in my heart was not only satisfied with a girl but I was blessed with another rumbly tumbly cuddly boy as well to love and learn from.
  I must say that now that I am working Mon-Fri I feel an extreme sense of guilt for being away from the children during the week and for leaving the task of doing lots of the raising to my husband. He loves us though. There's no other reason why he would do it. When we first started dating, I cannot recall the details but he did something for me or took care of me in some way. And, I told him that he didn't have to do that. You know, being miss independent and all. And I specifically remember him saying, "when you love someone, that's what you do. You take care of them." I think that the best thing that 2 parents can do for their children is to love each other. And, to take care of each other. It's overwhelming to think about the rest of the world. The violence, the sadness, the drugs, the abuse and neglect and the teasing. It's hard because all of their exposure to those things to some degree are completely out of our hands. But, we can show them what it's supposed to be like. What love is. How 2 people love each other. And, it is my hope that with some consistency, communication, and lots of love that all 4 of our little children will grow up to be phenomenal people. Heck, they already all are! How wonderful.
I think that if there's one thing that describes how I'm feeling at 29 weeks pregnant with twins...it's thankful. Thankful for THIS time, THIS place, THIS love, and all of THESE people that no one other than GOD himself could have sent into my life.
Kim

Time for an update?

I guess it's about time for an update. My blog hasn't felt the love in quite awhile.
Most all of you who are following this blog are also friends with me on facebook so it's hard to know what qualifies as "blog-worthy."
I do have a few things to say. I have started a new job at PPD in RTP and it's an answer to the little prayer in my heart that always wanted to work somewhat "normal" hours. I am very happy and blessed to be working here and my body feels a WORLD better. I was having my feet swell, etc after working those 16 hour shifts at the nursing home and it was just too hard on me.
The babies are doing well. They are both over 2lbs now and very active. I'm probably a little bigger now than I was full-term with both Parker and Seth. And, for those of you that remember what that looked like...whew. I just hope that these little ones hang out in there a little longer. They have a lot more growing to do. :)
I am looking forward to the holidays. We STILL haven't gotten our tree up yet if you can believe that. How unlike us! I'm really looking forward to pulling all of the decorations out and remembering Christmases past. I'm a sucker for the stockings on the fireplace too. A sucker. Can't wait to do that and watch Papa Smurf put up the lights and bedazzle our front porch.
Nothing new really going on. Same crazy life, same crazy kids, same crazy husband.

I have never felt so blessed in all of my life.
The day that I met him at Starbucks, my life started down a new and exciting, full path. And, my cup runneth over.

Love and Merry Merry to all of you!
Kimmie

It's about time for a rambling...

Evidently, there are a few friends that read this blog. I guess I should update it a little more frequently but whew...time is money these days.
Lots of things have started to change around us here in preparation for these sweet babies. I recently (this week) accepted a job at PPD in RTP as a consultant nurse. I will be working Mon-Fri. NO WEEKENDS, NO HOLIDAYS! I just don't even know how it's possible to have a job like that. I really don't! I'm hoping that I will feel like I'm resting better and living a little bit more sane and normal life. I start at PPD on Monday the 21st of this month. I'll have my own cubicle --YES and have been doing quite a little bit of shopping for it already. I mean, if I'm going to be spending 40 hours a week there, it's gonna HAFTA be cute!
Another small benefit to this job is that it's ACC/NCAA basketball season and here in NC that's a HUGE deal. I don't think that I've been able to watch any of the playoffs for the last 4 years. I'm looking forward to making an educated bracket this season!
I'm sitting here sipping on some decaf out of my life is good mug and watching the heels play.
This is going to be just freelance, straight from my brain. Meaning, don't expect paragraphs and semicolons to be in their respective spots. I can't help it. I just do better if the words just flow.
Jay first felt one of the babies move last week. We're pretty sure it was Isaac that he felt first.  Isaac is on my right side and Katie is on the left. Well, that's where they were about 3 weeks ago anyways! Lastnight he felt Katie kicking pretty good a few times. It's precious. This afternoon we were able to get 2 bumbos off of craigslist at a steal. We got both of them for $20. I love some craigslist!
I'm planning on having our close family and friends over for breakfast quiche on Thanksgiving morning around 10am. I've never made a quiche so I'm probably going to have to make a practice one a few days before :) I mean, otherwise it could be catastrophic. Luckily, no one really expects or thinks that I'm a good cook anyways. It sure would be nice to surprise them and to have a new Thanksgiving Lewis tradition.
We're planning on putting the twins in the bedroom with us in the same crib for a few months. Then, I think we will put the boys in the same room (and pray they don't give each other black eyes) and  let the twins have Seth's room after they start rolling over and all. It'll be difficult for them to sleep in the same crib after they get to be a few months old. I can't lie. I'm looking forward to them sleeping through the night. I think that I'll feel like things are somewhat routine and normal then. Ha, what a joke. Normal with 4 kids, what am I thinking?
Is it me or are the trees extra beautiful this year? It just seems like they are at their peak right now. The rusty reds are my faves when they are beside a few yellows. Oh, I just love this time of the year!
Tonight we are watching the UNC Tarheels play the Michigan State Losers. I was inspired to write this a little earlier:
 

And Jay in his flannels and I in my corner of the couch had just settled down to watch the tarheels wear em out. The boys were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of Halloween candy danced in their heads. From the top of the roof to the top of the wall, the tarheels we love them more than all!


Happy Fall from our busy family to yours.  These days, these mornings and evenings with the extra crisp in the air...they make living in NC simply wonderful.

Love,
Kim

Big DAY!!

Today we find out about the babies!! I am 18 weeks along...halfway there! And, we are going to have a physician do the ultrasound today. Since it's a twin pregnancy, that's what our doctor's office recommended. We're ALL for that! So, right now I'm at work. Wishing I was in bed resting up for this big day. The day that seemed so far away in July when we found out we were preggers!
Parker keeps asking me if the babies are coming out soon. I told him that when they came he would have to share his toys with them. You should've seen his face! HAHA. That kid sure hates sharing his toys. Both him and Seth rub my tummy all the time. It's pretty precious, for sure.
There are so many things up in the air for us right now that it seems like we'll never get a real schedule or "normal" life schedule before the twins get here. But, I'm going to keep trying!!

Hope the weather is as nice as it has been. Oh the fall weather just makes me sooo happy!
 Find a little piece of happy in your day today friends!

Love and all the excitement I can contain!!
Kimmie

boy name

Okay, so I listed a few boy names...but, Jay and I just talked after reading a comment in a blogpost of a friend of mine. We have pretty much decided on Isaac if we have a little boy. Isaac means "he will laugh" or "he laughs." Also, it was Sarah and Abraham's child in the bible that Sarah tried and tried and tried for and wanted wanted wanted with all of her heart. The "he will laugh" or "he laughs" just seems perfect for a child in our family. As soon as I said the name to Jay, he looked up, nodded and said, "oohhh I like that." And, you know, neither one of us have any friends or family members named Isaac. How perfect?! Funny how things fall into place as they should. Now...if only we already knew what the twins ARE in there!!!!!!

EEPPE EEEEEP!!

love,
Kimmie

I'm still here folks!

Hi you guys!! It's been so long since I've written. Literally, I think that it's been months and months...we had just found out that we were pregnant with twins!! Well, now we will find out on Monday if they are boys or girls or BOTH! What does my gut tell me? My gut tells me that they are going to be PRECIOUS. Haha, okay, fair enough. I think there is going to be 1 boy and 1 girl. That's really what I feel. I can't imagine that there would be 2 more boys in there. What are the odds of that? ALL boys? So, I'm counting on those odds. Really though, I'm concerned about their little bodies in there. I find myself worrying like most mom's do. I just have 2 sweet and healthy baby boys already and I just hope hope hope they are healthy. That's really what I want. I've been working my tailpipe off. I do 16 hour shifts now Saturday and Sunday at the nursing home. I've been there since the end of August and it's really exhausting. I try to tell myself that it's only 2 nights a week but then I still pick up a 8 hour shift in the middle somewhere. I am presently (gasp again) looking for something else. Something that is more healthy for the babies. I can only imagine how my ankles are going to look in a few months. And, yes I thought about it but didn't realize I'd be on my feet practically the ENTIRE time. And, I didn't honestly think about the exhaustion of doing night shift alone. So, I'm looking at case management stuff. We'll see. I'm ready for a career. I'm tired of having job after job, you know? I mean, I'm thankful and blessed to have a job. Period. I'm blessed. But, I think I can do better and have a more fulfilling and enjoyable career.
I'm looking forward to being able to SHOP for a few things and find hopefully a pink thing or two. We haven't bought 1 thing. NOTHING. We are waiting to see what's in there cooking. Then, lookout, I might just go crazy!!!!


I'm looking forward to updating you guys and letting you know what the Delio is.
We have pretty much decided on the names Katie and Megan if they are 2 girls.
Some of the boy names we have in the running are....
Ryan, Jacob, Logan, Van, and Max


I'll keep you posted!!!!
Love yuns!
Kimmie

the birds

An anonymous reader asked where the F are the birds....well, they should be at the top right of the page at the top.... hope this helps :)

New template

I have to say, I don't LOVE this template. But, I'll tell ya what I do love. The 6 birds. Yeah, count 'em. Just seemed to fit. We are going from 4 Lewises to 6. That's why we need 6 birds. IN PAIRS. Precious. Just sayin.

Meanderings...if that's really a word

So, I'm having a lot of broken, funny thoughts. I immediately figured I'd better blog them. So you can laugh and I can laugh too. One day. One day I'll laugh about my broken thoughts. First of all, I think I will be changing the name of this blog to livingoncoffeeandlove.blogspot.com because well, after the twins get here that's just gonna be how it is. I try to picture what it will be like. What I will be like. One word comes to mind. Frantic. Okay, two words. Sleepy. I just cannot, CANNOT imagine what's coming. Oh sure, I think I can imagine the love. I know the love I'll have for those two schnuckums. But, the insanity to follow. Whew-wee. God bless. We will be accepting help from anyone and everyone. :) Second of all..is that second of all or third of all? Blah. The blog title now is The Life and Times of 4 Lewises. That's pretty interesting because it was Me, Jay, Parker, and Seth = 4. Now, the 4 Lewises are Parker, Seth, Baby A, Baby B. I find that so very interesting. Possibly because it's 1:03am. But, nevertheless, interesting.
On the job front, I did happen to get the job at the Long Term Care Facility, aka the Old Folks' Home. I'm pumped. Oh man I'm hoping that it's easier. And, I hope that the patients are sweet and love me. I will bake cookies and all kinds of fun things. Well, you know in my SPARE time caring for 4 kids and my loving hubs.
Lastly, I just wanted you to know that the entire "go to bed by 10pm" thing...well, I failed miserably at it. It's like after the kids go to bed, I feel like I can actually do things uninterrupted. I guess I just have to decide if it's sleep I want or TV/time to do what I want. Right now, I'm saying SLEEP SLEEP!!
We'll see.
Thanks for tuning in. Until next time...take it easy!

Love and twin hugs,
Kim

my body and other ramblings

Well, my body has already started all these wonderful (insert sarcasm here) changes. I'm embracing them as best as I ever do I guess. It's such a challenge being short. There's no where for the fat to go, you know? Well, I'm hoping it's going to my 2 little sweet peas inside. It's only been the last few days that I've started thinking about the reality of it all. You know. The come home from the hospital, get no sleep, reality of it all. I must say, I'm pretty scared. I mean, I KNOW that if I can just survive a few months until the buggers sleep through the night I'll be GOLDEN. But, let's be serious here. I'm getting old. Yeah, that means I'm going to be going to sleep at like 9:30 at night. That sounds luxurious to me now. Maybe I should try to start that this week. It's so hard to do that because well...we like to stay up at night when the kids are in bed, sleeping. That's really the only husband/wife time that we have. But, I'm probably going to be a much more pleasant and patient person with the extra "normal" sleep. I'll let you know how it goes this week :)
Love,
Kim

update

I guess it's time for an update. You know, since we're pregnant again and all. AND, since we're pregnant WITH TWINS. Girls, you ask? Well, we JUST found out. We'll have to wait a few more months ..a few LONG months before we know. We are right at 8 weeks. And, I haven't had it bad yet. Lots of nausea, I'm not going to lie but I have only gotten SICK once so far. I guess our story is just like other stories that moms and dads find out they are having multiples. But, what's strange is that on the way to the doctor's office, I asked Jay what we would do if we found out we were having twins. Like the wonderful husband he is, he said, "well, I guess we'll just deal with it." Satisfied with that answer, we get to the ultrasound room after lots of poking,proding and a conference with our doctor. As we are waiting for the doctor to come in, I see an US WEEKLY magazine sitting there. Of course I find a list of celebrity twins. To name a few: Vin Diesel and Ashton Kutcher. So, I ask Jay if he knew they were twins. He was surprised.  Then, I looked up at the TV monitor and said, Jay....what are we gonna do if there are twins up there?? He gave me the same answer as before. When the doctor came in and turned the ultrasound on, he found one of our sweet babies. After watching it's heartbeat for a little bit, he moved it a little and says oh, wait a minute...wait a minute. There's another one here. About that time, both of the babies were side by side. And, their hearts were beating simultaneously. It was amazing. All I could do was LAUGH. And, squeeze Jay's hand. I covered my mouth and just laughed. And, then I was stupidly trying to hold the laugh in since the doctor is trying to do the ultrasound. Everything looked great he said .Both babies appear to have their own amniotic sac and presumably their own placenta will develop. This was all reassuring. We got 5 pictures...and they measured perfectly.
SO.....amazed. Unreal. Scary. Anxious, surprised, stunned, blessed, in awe, worried, happy, elated, complete.
I have been hurt so many times in my past. Ever since the day Jay came back into my life at that Starbucks, my god has continued to show me how he will heal my heart. How my heart will be healed. I know and understand all of the things that must happen in order for a pregnancy test to be positive. The timing, the chemicals, the reactions, the bonding, the DNA....it's just a miracle. And, there are 2 of them in my tummy.
I do  ask that you and your family keep us in your thoughts as it is very early in our pregnancy with these twins. I cannot wait to find out what we are having. I cannot wait to hear again that everything looks fine.
Seth doesn't understand. I told him there was a baby in my tummy and he pulled up my shirt looking all around for it. Parker...I think he understood when we told him there was one in there. But, after trying to tell him there's 2....he thinks I'm nuts.

What a sweet, precious life I have. Full of love. And, it just keeps getting better.

Love to all,
Kim

Got my swagga back.

It finally happened. I sat down at my computer to type a last status update for the night. It was too long for a status update. So, I put it into a  note. When I did, the words kept flowing. And, after a much unplanned blogger block....I got my groove back.
Enjoy dear friends. Hope something strikes a chord in your soul. Hope something fills your cup up...if only one word, one sentence, for one second. Love you all unconditionally--because there is no other love.

I feel somewhat wiser than most people I know. I take care of people of all ages at their absolute worst, when they are the most afraid, the most vulnerable, and the most defeated. What a privilege it is to be blessed with the gift of a caring heart and sincere smile. For, nothing in this world makes me feel more REAL, more TRUE, more thankful than to be able to make a change, fight an infection,fluff a flat pillow, quench the thirst, or warm the cold toes of a patient with a blanket. I hope that I don't leave this world before I've had a chance to really see my children blossom or before I've been able to hold the old hand of my angelic husband. You see, I have things to do. Things to accomplish. I have homework to check, and spelling words to quiz. I have multiplication and (God help me) division flashcards to hold up and high five. I have poetry to read to my husband while we're drinking coffee in weather-beaten rickety lawn furniture. I have dinners for the homeless at the soup kitchen to do at Christmas when the boys are old enough to learn the importance of service, dedication, and empathy. I have books to read, shops in Charleston to get googley eyes over with my bestie. I have laundry, for there will always be laundry and missing socks and tshirts with annoying holes. Yes, there are things. Things that we all want to do. Things we all dream of doing and places we all dream of going. Moments really. Moments that define us and shape us and make us memorable to those we love and those who don't really even know us. I feel bad for the people in the world who don't understand the value of their life and their breaths. I am frustrated with them because I feel that it's a shame for someone not to realize the work that they can do with their hands, heart, and mind can change little things. I am thankful that my mother not only raised me to be "book-smart" but to be "life-smart." Because, being successful and coping with life isn't about what the manual or what the instructions say. The things that matter in life require one to be able to think quickly, act swiftly, and overcome obstacles that seem to be overwhelming. Critically thinking and problem solving and being able to think ahead. I tell you, I have things to do. I have goals to set. I have lists everywhere. Post-its and highlighters in any color you can imagine. I've realized that in order for me to take my last breath and feel satisfied with the way I have lived...I will have to be happy with the MOMENTS. The interactions, the friendships, the trips, the laughter, the tears, the triumph, the persistence. It's only recently occurred to me that I don't want to have money saved up so that I can live after I retire. No, I don't want that at all. I want to be able to LIVE now. And, I want those moments. I want the ones that I can dream up and I want the ones that are better than in my wildest dreams. I look in the eyes of my children and I see nothing but light. Nothing but freedom and possibility. I see innocence and purity. And, the funny thing is. I already know that they will be successful. Do you know why? Because they are loved. And, that is all we need. They are supported, they were prayed for and believed in, and they are cherished. My main goal with those boys of mine is to always remind them of the light in their eyes, the good in their hearts, and the power they have to make a difference. And, I don't care if they teach art, go to medical school, write songs, play basketball, or answer the phone for a customer service line. If they are making life easier for someone else, then they have succeeded because that's more than 95% of the rest of the world do. This sweet husband of mine. He is snoring and resting beside me. His mind has been reeling all day, I am sure of it. I listen to his breath, go in and out of his lungs. And, I say to myself. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you as I hear each one. How can I be SO fully devoted and love someone else so very much? How? It's the scariest, most daring thing one can ever do. It's the biggest risk that anyone could ever take really. But I do. You know why? Because, I want to be like him. In every way. Really. He is wise. He is caring, he has the patience of a saint. He is fun, he is tolerant. He respects me and he listens. (okay well, when Pawn Stars isn't on :) He doesn't worry about all the huge questions of religion and God. He isn't here to impress or really be approved by anyone, yet he shines. People flock to him. Because of his smile, because of his ability to relate to anyone and everyone. People like his red glasses and ability to fix anything and everything. He is inquisitive, wondering how to make something better, constantly watching to make sure that things are done as they should be and always knowing the right tone to use when correcting. He has safe arms. You know, the kind good for crying when you've lost all your wit, all your ground. When you feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you, there are those arms, steadying, strong, and unwavering. When I find myself sick, throwing up, coughing, with a gnawing headache. He is there. He is finding a hair tie or a tissue or rattling through all the bandaids and bandages to find the excedrin. He is 100% himself. He knows who he is and what matters. He is a dreamer. He loves to think about traveling to Vegas, Africa, the Bahamas, and all other places we see on HGTV :) And, again, he picks ME. Me. The last few weeks, I find myself even more overwhelmed than normal by feelings of appreciation and gratitude for the man he is. That he has become. There is something magnetic about this man, I tell you. When he was the class clown in 5th grade and I thought he was something then....it's just amazing how things have come full circle and he still makes me smile without realizing it. This man, he has seen me at my worst, my weakest. He has seen me at my best, my strongest. I  have never seen his weakest. I have never seen him falter. He never questions. So, you see. I have a lot to do. I have a lot to learn and a lot of loving to do. These boys of mine. I never knew that my heart could hold so much love for another. And, I never knew that it could feel it exponentially return. Parker Jay loves music. Sethie does too. However, at Parker's age, he is memorizing music at unbelievable rates! I mean, it's odd almost. But, it makes me happy because I know how powerful music is. I know how it can turn a sad day into a happy one and it can get you through anything. It makes me happy to know he will always have music and it will always move him. I want my boys to be moved by things. You know, forever changing? Not stagnant. Moving. Sethie- he's such a little love. He is very affectionate and wants nothing more than to be held and snuggle. I think that he has that pretty honest too :) How blessed am I? 2 beautiful boys, perfect. A husband- my answered prayer in every imaginable situation. My refuge, my hiding place, my lighthouse, my anchor and the wind in my sail. I've got it all figured out you see, gratitude. acceptance, and unconditional love. If anything ever separates me from those I love, I believe I will no longer be an open book. I will shut down and there will no longer be light in my eyes. I will no longer be capable of love. Because, I have received it and I cherish it. I know that there's no way I would ever find it again. This journal entry is my entry of gratitude and my admittance of not being worthy enough for the blessings in my life. I am so undeserving and I have a lot to learn about life. My thoughts on love, and life and family. Those thoughts are concrete. They are constant. And, I thank my God for that.