Open door, open window..open SOMETHING!

So, I'm beginning to get frustrated with this job search. My nurse manager said 2 weeks ago that she was going to talk to the nurse manager in the NCCU for me (Neonatal Critical Care Unit) regarding a transfer. After 2 emails and a phone call that have gone unreturned, I'm bummed. So, tonight I took it upon myself to email the manager there and pretty much BEG for a job there. I just don't understand. I'm not sure what else to do. I mean, I know that I'm going to need at least 3 years of critical care experience (luckily, NCCU counts!) before I can begin to think of flying...you know...transport nursing in the helicopter. This is what I want. I can see myself doing it. I'm trying not to lose sight of my goal. However, every where I turn, it's as if I'm meeting obstacles. And, I'm not a quitter.
"How do you wait for heaven? And who has that much time? And how do you keep your feet on the ground, when you know you were born to fly?" --Sara Evans.
I keep telling myself that little ditty over and over again...believing it. Holding it. Dreaming it. And, I'm so exhausted from worrying about it.
This job that I have now. .....it's good. It pays the bills. It does a good job of it. I mean, there isn't much to spare but we have everything that we need. But, it isn't challenging. It isn't ME. I'm going to list for you the reasons I want to transfer...(I put them in the email to the nurse manager at the NCCU) just a few minutes ago. She's either going to think I'm desperate, begging, sucking up..or all of the above. I could care less...as long as I can start soon.

1. I miss cutting-edge technology, research, and evidence-based practice.

2. I miss the education from my peers and colleagues.
3. I miss feeling like I have a career.
4. If I worked for a higher-skilled unit and was proficient in those skills, I would be more driven.
5. I miss collaborating with physicians.
6. I am bored with my job.
7. I miss seeing my patients get well before my eyes (IV fluids for dehydrated kid, blood products for anemic kid)
8. It's time to step it up and expect more of myself; thirsty for more.
9. Now that I have 2 healthy and well children of my own, I'm not scared to take care of preemies.
10. I want to feel like I'm part of a team.
11. I want to feel like what I do makes a difference EVERY time I clock in

Another thing I'm trying to do...is meditate on the Bible verse that says...PEACE. BE STILL.
I'm not one for being still. Heck, I never have the chance to be still. So, I'm praying for this stillness. I want it to pour over me, envelope me and give me that inner peace that I so need and want. I'm struggling with my career right now. I just need a miracle.......

 I'll keep you posted.
It's Monday. And, in a few hours, my hubby will pick me up (he brought me to work lastnight ;0)
and I'll be sleep-deprived and cranky for awhile. Hopefully, he'll let me get some sleep.
Hopefully, I'll get a phone call from somebody---anybody.
And, hopefully the doors will fling open and a neon sign will say "go here."

Peace, be STILL.
Yeah God, thanks for that.
I'm trying here.

~Kimmie