Warm heart.

Hi ALL!! I thought I would try to fit one more blog in before Christmas since I've posted so many photos. We have almost moved completely into our home....well, minus the garage! If I had to describe it to you in a few words, I'd say that it's warm, cozy, open, bright, and it just FEELS right. So odd. I feel like I'm living in the Brady Bunch house. Things are perfect. And, I know that's silly. However, it just feels so light and airy in here. As you can tell by some of the pictures, I stole a few of the boys' blocks from around the house ...just for extra cuteness. Jay hasn't said anything yet about them...he may think they're silly. But, he knows how homey I am. And, quite frankly, they're homey. :) Is homey a word? Well, it is on my bloggie :)
I think that the word GROW sums everything up for me. There are 2 awesome windows right over our kitchen sink and a cozy little ledge .... I plan on putting a few plants there. I figure, they'll love the light, the boys can't eat them and neither can Mocha. I figure that Parker can help me and I can show him how things grow with sun and water and love. (of course, love!!) Well, I'm going to hope things grow there! I think GROW is a wonderful word for this house because that's exactly what I hope to do here. I hope that the boys grow with fond memories of home and love and family here. I hope that my marriage and relationship with Jay continues to grow. I hope that my creativity and inner self and spirit continue to grow as well as those of my children and hubby. Perhaps the most fun thing about this place is ....the potential. I find myself constantly in a dreamstate about the porch and my bookshelves *that Jay promises me...I dream about baking and having friends and family over. I dream of flowers both inside and out of the house. I dream of the smell of fresh laundry and Parker's feet running all over the floors. I cannot describe to you how this feels. It's like a dream, really. I looked at Jay lastnight and told him that I've never felt like this before. I mean, we have a wonderful marriage, 2 beautiful and healthy children and a perfect home. What more could I ask for?  When I look back over the last 5 years of my life I feel like I went from being a caterpillar...to a butterfly. I feel like my mind has had a large cloud of haze removed and I can see life and feel life and enjoy life for what it really is. And, it's against everything I believe to say this...because I TRULY feel that everyone is responsible for their own happiness...but ever since the day I met Jay at Starbucks, my life has gotten better and better. The only thing that I wish I had more of...is time. Time to paint and write and sing and dance. Time to plant and clean and draw. Although, it's definitely all about balance. I love taking my journal with me to work,  to sit and write about things going on in my life while I'm kindof away from them. I love sitting here in the living room with sunlight beaming through the window.. OMG I just heard a bird singing!! OUR FIRST BIRDSONG! How wonderful! A song just for me! I love to share my life and my story and my kids with others...because, well I've always been that way. I love to inspire, to nurture, to LOVE.
This Christmas, I am thankful for the life I have within me as well as the life that I live. I am thankful for the positive people in my life that help me to grow. I'm thankful for my children who rob me of sleep and force me to get up early to have more hours with them. I'm thankful for HOME, and everything that word means. I'm thankful for my mom, who has always inspired me to sit down, and just be creative. I'm thankful for my stepfather, who has shown me unconditional love. I'm thankful for my husband, who loves me for who I am.  Yesterday, we were at a stoplight by the mall and it was snowing...frrreezing outside. There was a man standing with a sign and begging for money. I was listening to the radio. I admit, I saw the man but I was preoccupied with a million other things on my mind. Jay starts digging in his pockets. Then, he asked me if I had any cash. We gave the man hardly anything, but all we could round up from the change pocket in the car and Jay's wallet...I told the man to stay warm..and you could see it in his eyes.....unspoken emotion. I was so moved, I started crying and told Jay how sad I was for that man. Jay said, you know if he's standing out here the week of Christmas in the snow with 2 coats on, holding a sign with no where else to be...he's homeless. UGh. HOMELESS...something I could not imagine. So, this Christmas, I think of the man holding the sign. I think of a baby, born in a MANGER because there wasn't any room for him in the INN...and I'm thankful and blessed. I don't need anything for Christmas, I already have it ALL.