Back to the daily grind...

Well, tonight is my first night back at work :( I'm staying busy so haven't really been able to think about the actuality of it all. I must say that when I got in the car and started driving away from home I had the strangest feeling...and I don't know quite how to describe it. I guess it's because it was the first time I was really separated from Sethie since he's been born. And, it felt like I was leaving a piece of myself behind. I realize that literally, I was leaving a part of myself behind. However, that's not what I mean. I wonder if other moms feel this way and could perhaps explain it better. It's bizarre. I mean, for almost 10 months he was inside of me, growing and having hiccups and punching me. Since his birth, he has woke us up every 3 hours to feed and in between for dirty diapers. And, I just got in the car and came to work. So strange. He is there with Jay and I am here at work. I think I mourned a little on the way to work because for the 10 months :) that I was pregnant, I was carrying around a little Jay inside of me; no matter where I was or what I was doing, he was there too...well a piece of him. Now, he is home and has a piece of me to carry around with him. So odd!! Perhaps I'm just thinking about it too much. That's what my mother would say. I've been pumping here at work tonight...I'm blessed to have a job that allows me to do that and doesn't make it an inconvenience for me to do so. I'm also blessed (SOOO blessed) to have a wonderful husband who is fully capable and trustworthy to be home with the kids. I have to say that I don't really trust anyone BUT him with our kids.I don't know where the mistrust comes from...but if I'm honest, it's there. He's smart, and does things thorough. I mean, I know that if a bottle is only good for another hour, he's not going to stretch it at all to 2. And, that makes working and being away from him and Seth easier on me. Well, as easy as I guess it could be. I guess if I wasn't here, I wouldn't be updating my blog. I'd be doing something Seth-related. I wonder how the day will be tomorrow. I know that Jay will let me sleep. I just wonder how the pumping and all will be...if I'll have to get up to pump or if it'll be like nighttime has been, and I'll have decreased milk while I'm sleeping. That would be awesome. But, I'm thankful for the milk that I have been able to pump. Luckily, we have literally half the freezer full. And, we're in the market for a standup or stand-alone freezer for our garage. I mean, we need it for frozen foods anyways. :)
Parker Jay is very sweet lately. And, the only time he is really giving us tantrum trouble is when it's time for him to nap. He's been having alone-playtime in his room for about 30 minutes a day and he really seems to enjoy it. We hear him talking to himself, talking on his play phone, playing with the doorstopper, etc... the other day, Jay went in to check on him, and he told him to close the door!! He likes to kiss Seth on the head repeatedly and when he hears Seth crying, he says "baby crying." When we get ready to go for a walk, he says "baby coming?" It's pretty adorable. He melted my heart yesterday when he came and sat right on my lap during Madagascar 2. I literally looked at Jay with tears in my eyes. What a sweet soul.
Anyways, I just wanted to update the blog. I know it's been awhile.
Take care,
Baby hugs,
Kimmie